Posted byDan Eskiu
Posted onMarch 5, 2014
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When I started this blog my idea was to exhibit my work for two main reasons:
There was also the intention to serve as inspiration for other artists but it was a very long term goal.
However, so far, neither of the goals has been met. The causes can be various and I will not make the mistake of presuming motives but to explain what I did and evaluate myself. To begin with, I’m self-taught, I have a very appetizing curiosity but my understanding level is not optimal, this means that a traditional education (attending college for example) restricts me quite a bit because I usually stay with more doubts than answers. The patience of the instructors has a limit and I tend to push it. So I prefer to learn on my own, I can study one topic as often as deemed necessary and not be pressured by deadlines1. It’s clear that learning in this way has its drawbacks, such as a slowly progress or receive false information but one of the most significant advantages is to understand a topic thoroughly and also allows to develop a strict and voluntary discipline, the Internet is a great tool for this purpose . Obviously depends on the individual, both his/her will and his/her ability to discern the useful from the vain.
My education is up to me. It’s a path I decided to take and I assume it with a lot of responsibility. That means I have to constantly prove my knowledge because I don’t have a piece of paper that certifies me. Here comes the first problem, in the real world people require some kind of evidence about the abilities of others, a professional degree is usually sufficient although that does not necessarily mean that the person has skills (a degree in many cases, it just means the person complied with the assigned, which can be very limited, and is not proof of outstanding insight). Nevertheless by lacking any certification, I’m not rated to be suitable and in some jobs I applied, it wasn’t even a requirement to provide a portfolio so I was very limited.
Here’s another problem, in the real world there is a paradox: experience is required, to get experience you need a job, to get a job you need experience. Through all this time, I didn’t get a single job (in the artistic field), therefore I have no experience. My personal projects are just that: personal. In a broad sense, I don’t have what is needed to be enabled to work.
But what about those personal works? They must have some merit. Yes, yes they do, if they’re relevant; there’re many cases of artists who were hired because of this. The key is the impact. This impact translates into expertise, wit, creativity, relevance, exhibition, etc.
A third problem is precisely that word: exhibition. Several articles stress out on how important it’s to be part of a community, in this case, an art community. When I was younger I went to therapy because for some folks I was “asocial”, once in therapy I was diagnose with Asperger syndrome. However I consider myself a misanthrope. One consequence of this is that I can’t relate to these artistic communities that those articles talk so much; there was a time I tried to do it, but what I found it was a very hypocrite and egotist environment, most of the critiques was based on how ‘cool’ the artist was rather than the artwork itself, the negative reviews were seen as attacks and they tried to discredit them mainly by ad hominem fallacies (the typical “it’s because you don’t understand”).
So I decided to opt out of those spaces, I believe that a work should be criticized for what it is, this is why I don’t like to show how I create certain work or provide extensive explanations of why I did it or express my feelings. If I did my job properly, the intention will be clear to the audience; here lies the skill of the artist, to provide the perfect amount of details to reveal its meaning. It is not about how it was made or what the idea was (which is practically the foundation of postmodern art), but the whole process, i.e.: theory + technique + creativity = artwork2. If the process is consistent, cohesive and shows great skill in all the steps, certainly that work will be sublime, it may not please everyone but no one will deny its excellence.
Where am I going with all this? My work should be remarkable to be propagated. I can’t tell if I succeeded, but let’s be objective: I sent my portfolio (updated constantly) to a considerable number of studios, museums, individuals, job advertisements (in various graphic art areas) and even other artists and the only few responses I received were a polite “we are not interested at this time” (from job ads I received nothing). This could mean the following: my work is mediocre, my work was not suitable for their style, they didn’t need another employee (except for job ads and other artists), they don’t bother to see my portfolio, I am not sufficiently diverse, I’m too diverse, I’m a misunderstood artist (it’s a possibility right?). It’s hard to know without having any kind of feedback.
Based on the foregoing, you’ll see that it is difficult for me to get a job, with so many questions, it’s necessary to reevaluate everything done to this day. I’m not a great artist, many of my works have not reached the level I aspire, and this blog is a record of the many mistakes that I incur. Albeit the path of excellence will be my road, i.e., my works should be sublime; I don’t want to fight my way through by other means such as being the coolest of the group or the nicest person ever. I’ll defend my principles firmly. In order to reach that loftiness, I have to push myself harder and make sacrifices.
Unfortunately I can’t continue my current lifestyle, all this time I received help from my parents and a little money I made from sporadic jobs such as fixing someone’s computer3 but the situation right now is so difficult that I cannot longer be cynical and loose. I have to find a job in any field to meet my basic needs, and due my situation, a low wage job it’s the most sure thing; however there will be no excuses that keep me away from working hard on what I love. I’m not sure how long this stage will take, let’s consider it a preparatory phase and that is precisely what I’ll do: review, relearn, gain knowledge on theory and improve my technique to where my possibilities permit because learning is a lifelong activity. As a consequence the blog will not be updated as often as it was until now, and not only because of time constraint but to a practice regime so I can take my work to a new level, if I consider an artwork worth publishing, you’ll see it.
Thanks to all the people who follow this blog and to those who genuinely considered my artwork something good. I will not disappoint anyone.
1 Deadlines are very important in any job but what I meant here it’s that in order to fulfill a deadline sometimes students will do a mediocre work
2 This is actually a paraphrase from RomyBeats, she said “theory+technique+creativity=artist”
3 I’m not a technician, some of the “issues” people have are very easy to fix, sometimes a simple Google search helps but for some strange reason, these people cannot do that